I wrote myself a letter because I’m the best support I can give me. I am always with myself, and only I know the darknesses that frighten me when no one else is there to comfort me.
Ironically the letter I wrote myself was actually just a copy of a motivational text my friend sent me. However, I know that the only letters come from me. This makes two lessons: 1. Always be your own support & 2. Never take the support and words from others for granted.
I made a decision a while ago to start writing myself letters whenever I was feeling hopeless or depressed, and I had refrained from opening them until today when I figured it was time to start crackin’ a peek.
The letter I chose for today was written at 3:17 a.m. on May 22, 2016. This is the day that my sophomore spring semester was officially over. The letter was titled, Read this when you have NO FUKIN’ CLUE how you’re gonna’ get through this. xoxo, Becca.
You see, a LOT has hit me these past two years. I’ve fought depression, anxiety, health issues, a concussion, an abusive sibling, isolation, loneliness, stress… I mean, a LOT.
You can read a small part of the struggle, here.
I’m still fighting. But, that’s the deal with life. We get one, we make something of it, or we don’t. You still gotta’ try, though.
Now, on with the letter.
Listen to me rn Becky. it is okay to not have any fucking clue what you’re doing with the rest of your life. You are 20 years old. You aren’t even 1/4 done with your life yet. society makes us feel like we’re supposed to know what we want to do with the rest of our lives. we are young, and you need to enjoy this life as much as you can. I think what happens to us when we get super stressed is that we aren’t living in the moment. We are living in the future or the past when we feel the most stressed out. And if you just took the time to focus on living in the moment then u will feel less stress and anxiety. And remember it is okay to not be okay. In this generation, social media glamorizes EVERYTHING and adds so much unnecessary stress to our lives because all the unobtainable “standards” it has set for us. I think sometimes you forget how beautiful you are on the inside and out, you are one of the most genuine people I’ve met & I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You are too hard on yourself sometimes & I think that’s when you start to feel this sadness or stress or anxiety because you feel like for some reason you let yourself down. Honestly just take a deep breath and focus on the positives, you have so many good things going for you especially since you are such a hard worker. I love you so much, don’t stress about the unknown. You don’t know what LIFE has in store for you, just let it all fall into place. I think the 1st step in moving on is to try and stop looking in the past on what/who you used to be, or what happened to you in the past. Everything that has happened has lead you to the person you are now and is leading to who are supposed to be. Don’t let the past bring you down, it already happened and you can’t change it so keep your head up and keep moving forward. Tonight I want you to, if you need to like reflect on everything from the past, write it down, talk to yourself about it, idk, anything. But use that as closure & tomorrow I want you to wake up and do something different. Wake up earlier, drink a coffee while the sun rises, idk anything. Change up your daily routine and only focus on the future and what you have ahead of you because I know you’re going to accomplish AMAZING things. You’re an amazing person & I love you so much.
This letter really made me think about my current situation. It’s so true that things can change in the blink of an eye. I, like many people, have the habit of focusing on everything around me rather than the current moment, but at the same time, we must be careful not to focus solely on the present because then we can make decisions that are destructive to our progress as humans on this EARTH!
The concept of change is quite funny, actually. We all complain about our current situation because of the past or the future, yet we actually do nothing to change the situation itself. We take no action, rather, we wallow in pity until we forget and are able to function somewhat normally again. The cycle is a vicious one and it’s incredibly difficult to break out of.
This is where I challenge all of you to stop planning what you will look like, stop planning your future, rather make habit changes. Change a habit, add a habit, take one away and make this a daily effort. This way your accomplishments will be a short term gratifications, and you will be more likely to stick to your habit changes!
This will be my goal for the next 30 days. Choose a habit and little by little incorporate it into my day.
Let’s see how it goes.