When you wake up in the morning– that’s when it begins.
That’s all life really is– just its and things.
Some of you already have it, in the back of your head, eating away at your skull. The only thing left are the skin and bones that remain from the endless amounts of picking and pulling you do to your psyche while staring in the mirror. The images of your failures replay over and over in your head as you socialize with that classic half-hearted smile. You stopped showing teeth years ago, didn’t you? I’m talking about that constant nagging feeling. That feeling that you are just, less than.
Less than pretty, less than ideal, less than intelligent, less than successful, less than kind, less than liked, less than others, less than, less than, less than.
God, why couldn’t you just have one thing going for you? Why is it that you feel like you’re the one that people actually pity? Or even worse, they don’t just pity you, they are glad that they’re not you. They look at you and you are the reminder of how great their life actually is. Euw. Can we just agree that those people can screw off?
Want to hear the truth? You’re never going to know who is looking at you that way. And those people are never going to screw off. AND man, do I empathize with you. I know what it’s like to look at people and envy the stupid things they probably don’t even notice. Their thick hair, their clear skin, their likable personality– we can continue this, but do you have a lifetime to hear the injustices.
And then, BAM! Here comes that thing, truth, again:
Life is a subway employee, and he sucks. He just made a shit sandwich and he’s got enough to last over 14.5 billion years. Did I mention he’s forcing them out for free? (I think an appreciation of my pun is deserved here.)
There are things(truths) and there are its(lies). You need to realize that its are less than things. Things are the real. Things are your freedom… or your prison. You see, the truth, this thing, is avoided by many. In fact, more people avoid the things, which are good, than they avoid the its, which are bad. And these things counteract the its, but the its are sneaky. Its are like demons, convincing you that you don’t have enough of them. Did you buy that diet plan? Did you buy that makeup brush? Did you move to Seattle and finally start that all-in-one urban café, bookclub, humane society, coffee shop? No, of course not. And because of this, you can’t have any of her, or his–their–its.
The more its you gain, the more things you lose. This is true for everyone. Its are like the plague. The black plague. Wiping out millions. Destroying humanity with edible garbage. Don’t feed yourself anymore its. Please, I’m begging you.
Stop engulfing yourself in lies. Stop waking up and immediately allowing your feelings of inadequacy to swell into an unmanageable sandwich of shit.
But how? It’s not easy.
Here’s the thing. For every lie you tell yourself– and yes, self-hatred is completely encapsulated with lies, you stifle another one of the truly enchanting facets of your being. YOU are beautifully complex, your fears and your desires are only a fraction of who you are. Your job, from here and forward on, is to discover these things about yourself. And at first it will just feel as though you can’t stop the flood of lies coming out of the depths of your brain, but trust me, it will get better. You will prevail in the midst of these fiery demons. BUT, you MUST sever your relationship with them first.
Here are 5 things you can begin right away to see immense progress:
- Wake up earlier and meditate for 5-10 minutes every morning, or throughout the day, as needed. To meditate, sit with nice posture, close your eyes, breath in and breathe out deliberately. Count your breaths. Let your thoughts drift within your head, yes, even the negative ones, and simply allow them to enter and then leave–do not hold on to any thoughts. Clear your mind. This will take some practice.
- Write a self-love note, and place it on your mirror, or anywhere you will see it daily. It should say something along the lines of, I love myself, unconditionally, right NOW. Look at it EVERY DAY and say it over and over again. Scream it over the lies.
- Talk to Yourself. So, here’s a secret. Talking to yourself out loud is pretty great for your brain (unless you’re just crazy). Talk yourself through the emotions without using any form of hate speech about yourself and others. Just have a conversation with yourself, make it as weird or nonweird as you want! I personally prefer weird, though. I’m talking, create characters with radical personalities, weird.
- Sit Outside (More). Believe it or not, getting some extra Vitamin D can do wonders for your mood. If you enjoy solitude, go to a park and sit with some music and read. Reading is food for the soul, I swear it! & Sometimes being able to look at the world from the perspective of a person who doesn’t actually exist it in (like an alien or a ghost), is amazingly insightful and stimulating for the mind. Try it!
Read the DriftingBrain Blog.I’m Sorry I Just Had To. OK, no really. Read. Listen to Music. & Also… Journal your thoughts and then, if you’re feeling adventurous, burn the list. Distract yourself with the future: make future plans. Since this is number 5, it seems right that it should be more spacey than the others. Journaling is an obvious one when it comes to venting, but have you ever thought of burning those negative feelings that you put on paper? It can be very bad-vibe releasing. Or you can distract yourself by creating & planning endeavors and future (productive, self-loving) goals. For example, you could create a blog, a podcast or a YouTube channel. You might want to plan a trip, plan your future, or simply make a ton of random lists about things important to you (I’m a huge list-maker, so I get the appeal). The world is your oyster and your mind is your limit (the sky is a bullshit timewarp fabricated by the confines of our minds… SURPASS IT).
So, try these tips and REMEMBER to block out the lies with the TRUTH. You need to rediscover your truths and value them. Cherish them. Feed them!
Do you guys have any advice, or experience dealing with self-hate and feelings of inadequacy? How did you overcome them? Do you find that any of these 5 strategies have worked for you? Leave a comment below!
R.L. November 2016.